It’s been a month since I have posted, a month of complete exhaustion. The Cancer Clinic advised me that I would sleep and rest for a least 6 months and you know me, if it takes 6 months I’ll do it in 3. That is always my attitude, when will I learn? These people know what they are talking about! Seriously! I will probably NOT do it in 3 months … but after the year I have had, what is another 3 months?
A friend of mine from Alberta was here in April. I think she wondered if I was going to “make it” when she left. I am going to “make it!”
Radiation is a lot harder than they tell you, actually the whole journey is a lot harder than you realize. Sad too. A lot to process. A lot of shedding what is not important anymore!
April 20, 2012 was my last Oncology appointment with Dr. W. I remember going into the Cancer Clinic, dropping off my Radiation Survey, picking up my Gingerbread Latte, and smiling at the couple next to me in the waiting room. The woman smiled back and I became aware that they were watching me. I commented that I had whipped cream (fats are not on the Breast Cancer list of foods) on my latte today because it was my last appointment, “Well, for the time being,” I said. I asked her what type of cancer she had. She was wearing a hat with a few wisps of hair around her face. “I have Metastatic Breast Cancer, Stage 4” she said. I’ll never forget her look. “They have radiated my back, they are just keeping me comfortable, they have me on a chemo pill now but I can’t keep it down.” My heart sank. “When, how long ago were you first diagnosed.” “3 years ago, stage 1” she said. They seemed so in tune, in love and completely unphased by the future. They knew what they were up against and yet their strength, unity, calm, love and grace was all I could see. That spirit has landed on me, completely unforgettable. I want her to live, to be well, how could she be dying when clearly she had so much love to give? Isn’t that what life is about? Giving and receiving love? Don’t these two have it right? Oh, I am so programmed to getting it right and there is no getting it right! When will I learn that, when? Even so, their spirit I will never forget, never!
They were called for her appointment, then I was called for mine. Dr. W. was happy with my healing, Nurse C. told me that 1 year of treatment takes 2 years of healing and to be gentle with myself. No swinging golf clubs for 2 years, no Dragon Boat Racing for 2 years, etc. I am Triple Negative, so each month I survive for the next 18 months is important. I am expected to live and do very well. Dr. D. will see me in September and that was that. One more Doctor off my list, that is 2 down in 2012! As I walked out of the examining room and through the waiting area, the couple was back waiting. He saw me and said “You, have all the whipped cream, you can my dear! Nobody knows what causes Cancer or how long anyone has left!” They knew how happy I was to be done, they had been done just 3 years ago.
The Cancer Clinic considers me 1 Year Cancer Free. Really, they do. Even though it’s been a year fighting for my life, I didn’t die fighting … I am 1 Year Free!
Today, I had my first haircut! I look healthy, I really do! Still pretty much in bed by 7:00 pm … but tonite Sunshine is with me!
Thank-you, Jay (Careflash) and Joanna (momentumofjoy.wordpress.com) for your encouragement!
Thank-you, all for your encouragement and prayers!